Just My Opinion

The Edge of Limitation

For years I led a meditation group. A good number of folks were faithful to this weekly gathering, a quite important factor because every one of them extended their self-intent to the group as a whole through presence and commitment. Consequently, when we came together we were able to dive deeply—immediately.

We always opened with breathing together, to leave the day behind and connect with each other energetically. Then I would open the circle for sharing before we moved on to guided meditations. One time during the open frame a long-time participant asked a question.

What is the edge of limitation?

It was an astounding question, one I’m not sure I adequately answered in that moment. It was a question that—over time—framed a journey of my own, an odyssey into self-inquiry and the nature of a spiritual journey. I went on to write an entire chapter on this question in Standing Stark and, in the process, generated other queries to further define the question. Some of them are below.

Where is the meeting point between complacency and possibility?
Where is the meeting point between pain and healing?
Where is the meeting point between control and surrender?
Where is the meeting point between parallel worlds and infused existence?

Clearly, the edge of limitation is something you lead up to—unless you’re merely fantasizing. New considerations will open to places that are unfamiliar. I use a variety of metaphors to describe that state. Perhaps it’s a dark forest where the path isn’t visible. Maybe it’s a membrane you bump up against; to break through the sheathing involves an identity level shift: how you are in the world. Or it’s a threshold, the precipice where a decision is made to retreat or move forward. So the edge of limitation is the pinpoint in thought, time and space before Separation from the old self of status quo.

One time I asked retreatants to do an exercise. They chose an area of their lives where they experienced a block. Then I invited them to choose two spaces along a line they imagined on the floor. The first had to do with the edge that, if they moved beyond it, would take them through the threshold to freedom. Second, they chose a space along the line, prior to the first space, that signified their degree of resistance regarding the issue. The farther back they stood, the greater the degree of discomfort or block. Some had their backs up against the wall; others were poised close to the edge. I invited them to try something out; to physically walk along the line, out of the space of resistance and up to the edge; and if they chose, to cross the threshold to what lies beyond. To a one, they did. Their responses ranged from displays of relief to calm to abject jubilation. Fear vacated and possibility took its place.

Sometimes it’s just that simple to open the way.

Of course, you can use what I’ve written here as a guideline to explore aspects of your own life. This is a brief primer toward self-discovery that I use with clients as a springboard for transformation. I’ve adapted the content of this post from my books and mentoring program
Navigating Your Lifepath, which guides folks on how to live through their deeply held values—and thrive.

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Genre – Nonfiction, Spirituality

Rating – PG

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The publishing process can’t be done in a vacuum.  You have to begin your marketing efforts at the same time and both should start long before the launch date.  One of the first steps is to establish budgets for the publishing and marketing processes.  Yeah, that’s right; publishing and marketing a book will cost money.  Your money.

Under the publishing budget, a cover and editing I feel are mandatory costs.  Other costs depend upon your abilities.  If you can design the interior of the book, then you won’t have budget money for it.  Over time, the marketing budget will dwarf the publishing budget.  Another difference is that the publishing expenditures will end once the book is published (unless you make changes).  The marketing budget on the other hand will continue long after the publication date.

So when should all this activity start?  I recommend you develop a budget four months prior to the launch date.  Three months before the launch date, work on the cover should begin along with getting the book edited (you DID have the book critiqued by other writers before now, right?).  On the marketing side, establish a web/blog site if you don’t have one, write a marketing pitch and write two synopses, a long one and short one.  The long one can go to potential reviewers and bloggers, the short one goes on the blog and in emails.

Six weeks before launch, .establish the book’s price, develop a set of keywords or tags, design the interior of the book, format it and submit it whatever packager you’re using.  Your marketing activities should include developing reading samples, contacting the media, arrange blog tours if you plan to use one and start getting early reviews.  Another activity is to decide on launch activities such as book signings and parties.  If you want to have one, start planning it now.

Once the book is launched, your publishing activities are over, but the marketing activities continue and will continue for a long time.  Many of these marketing activities will cost money.  If you think you’ll fund the marketing costs through book royalties, think again.  The marketing comes first and requires up front funding.  The book royalties come later.

The crucial concept that new authors don’t grasp is that once the book is published, the author owns a company and the author is the CEO of that company.  The purpose of the company, like all companies, is to sell a product.  In this case the product is the book.  Besides being the CEO, the author is also the marketing manager and the sales manager.  The book sales are the criteria that will be used to rate the performance of the marketing and sales managers.

These awkward facts dictate that the author must make business decisions, not ego-driven decisions.  It also implies that a business plan will be a useful thing to develop.

Planning on self-publishing a book? Uploading files to a packager isn't the entire scope of work. That's actually the easiest task, but there are many more necessary tasks to be done..  This book explains the entire self-publishing process.  It breaks up the publishing process into four timeframes starting four months before the availability date. This spreads the workload into easy-to-manage chunks.

The book describes the complete process necessary to self-published a book. Unlike those who maintain that self-publishing a book consists of simply uploading the cover and manuscript files, this book details all of the necessary preliminary tasks that have to be finished before uploading the files.

It’s a complete roadmap to get a book self-published. It’s organized by timeframes to break up the workload into manageable chunks.

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Genre - Non-fiction: how-to

Rating – G

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What are your long-term and short-term goals?

My short term goals are to market my three books (and my three ebooks) Studying…The Testimony, Living…The Testimony, and my spiritual memoir, Saving Mary: The Possession. After marketing is started, and it already has begun, I will be finishing book three in the testimony series: Preparing…The Testimony. Preparing…The Testimony is not a typical Bible study. This study is meant to help Christians both discover and value their own personal testimony. Oh, I also have the audio book for Saving Mary coming up for sale in December, 2013. I can’t wait for the audio book; I’ve found a great reader who is just wonderful with dialogue. And of course, I will be finishing book two - Saving Mary: The Deliverance. This is the second book in the Saving Mary series. I called my memoir ‘Saving Mary’ because Mary Magdalene was the woman from whom Jesus cast out seven demons. (See Mark 16:9.) The first book, Saving Mary: The Possession is the story of how I became possessed by two evil spirits; the second book is the story of how I became unpossessed. Basically, it’s the story of how God revealed Jesus to me and, ultimately, changed the course of my life. A shortened version of the whole story can be found in Living…The Testimony.

Long-term goals: I’m going to be working on a screenplay. It’s a hobby of mine. I took up screenwriting back in Saskatoon, SK, when I ran into Bill Boyle (author of The Visual Mindscape of the Screenplay). I also have another book in mind that I’d like to write, one regarding women and the Holy Spirit. I believe the Holy Spirit is stirring up an awful lot of women to step out in faith and preach and teach the gospel. I’d like to encourage these women.

I will also be looking to put a few conferences together on the importance of testimony, bringing in some speakers to share their personal testimonies. I would also like to publish a book of testimonies from readers. So, send me your personal testimonies of how Jesus was revealed to you! http://www.deidrehavrelock.com/contact/

Or post your story here: www.facebook.com/DeidreHavrelockFanPage

We testify in accordance with what we know and have experienced.

…It’s time to learn and experience more!

The first book in this thought-provoking series explained how testimony relates to the Bible; this book will help you understand how testimony relates to living. Living…The Testimony will not only encourage Christians to reflect on who they believe Jesus to be (and why they choose to believe this), but it will also correct current misconstrued ideas as to what the Christian testimony is all about.

- a testimony is not about church;

- a testimony is not about God;

- a testimony is not about faith in general terms;

- this book contains numerous testimonies that will strengthen your faith in Jesus.

A strong Christian testimony is one that continually grows in the knowledge of Jesus, continually shares that knowledge boldly, while at the same time performs good works based on Jesus’ teaching of love—all while abstaining from works of darkness.

Because a biblical testimony deals not only with our belief system, but also with the way we conduct our whole lives, our Christian testimony becomes our most valuable asset. It is life itself.

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Genre – Christian Living

Rating – G

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Website www.deidrehavrelock.com

This book will be on sale for $0.99 during the tour

If you had a superpower what would it be?

Well I sort of have one; I have vivid selective amnesia.

I literally block out mass amounts of time in my life; and most of it isn’t with pure intention in doing so.

It seems as simple as taking a caustic smelling Sharpie and marking big red X’s on whatever it was I wanted to negate, like you would dates on a calendar.

I blocked out bullying, having little friends, my sexual assault as well as a slew of other things.

To me, those things were in the past; done and over with.

It’s totally weird, I remember very little of anything before I was 23.

It’s like having my own personal superpower, but before I had that I had a sharpened No. 2 pencil and a raggedy spiral bound notebook. That’s how I used to negate all the negativity.

Hours were spent in a closet with a flickering 13inch black and white T.V., a pen and pad, and my thoughts.

In that closet I escaped from everything; the bullying, my siblings and reality.  It didn’t just take me away from negativity it allowed me to just BE; without ridicule or judgment.

Poetic prose got me through my youth.

However, I abandoned writing as I entered high school, as mandatory reading and writing overshadowed my recreational wants.

Next came the side effects of life and being an adult.

Everything else seemed to take precedence; military deployments, college, spouse, kids…LIFE!

I actually lost my love of it, as I write for a living now. All creativity has seemingly oozed out of any orifice it was capable of seeking refuge, leaving me just a walking talking flesh pod of military jargon and writing style.

There is little room for creativity in military writing.  And my blocks of time where forever to remain lost.

However, when I started to the write The Invisible Sorority:  Surviving being a Survivor of Intimate Partner Sexual Assault it forced me to face those images I vowed to forget, all with the intent to help other women.

While trying to help other women I seemed to have helped myself.  I was forced to talk through my issues with what happened to me.

Instead of burying my head in the sand like an ostrich, I was now pointing my head to the heavens and picking the sand crystals out of my feathery eyelashes.  My vision was blurry at first, but with continued writing some of my quirks found its root in my tragedies.

I call them the “side effects of me”.

I developed habits and personality traits out of my darkness, but I never related them to that incident. They were and are my protection mechanisms.

Writing the book eased my sensibility in regards to my sexual assault.  It helped me to see why I was having problems with intimacy and why I am so overprotective of my only child.

The pen (well pencil) can get right to the middle of your psyche and put it right in your face.

It can soothe your soul like that warm glass of milk you’d drink to release melatonin to force you into deep slumber.

And in my case, it may save your relationship.

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Genre – Non-Fiction, Self Help-Abuse

Rating – PG-13

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